Visiting Rio in 2005
Traveling has been a great passion of mine since I studied abroad at the age of 21. For several years after that, I traveled as much as I could—living abroad for 1 ½ years; taking long, loosely-planned trips; and staying in certain places for extended periods of time. When I met my husband a few years later, I welcomed the new travel reality that he came with—that he was from Brazil and would be going “home” every year.
Over our 11 years together, this kind of travel has had its ups and downs. At first, I loved being in Brazil because everything was new to me, and we went to beautiful places. Then the trips became what is true for most immigrants returning home: a few weeks of uneventful time with family. We still squeezed in some other trips, to Hawaii, Europe, Indonesia, various places in the U.S., but I had a hard time embracing the time in Brazil for what it was—time in one place with family—not because I don’t love them, but because it left me feeling restless and confined. Recently, however, I have learned to appreciate these trips for what they are and have even come to really look forward to them. So this summer there are no trips to Italy or even down the coast of California, but instead a 5-week stay with my Brazilian family. And it’s all good.
The family celebrating the World Cup with typical Brazilian gusto
I have 2 sisters-in-law who live in completely different places in Brazil. One lives in a small apartment in the huge city of São Paulo. The other lives in a huge house on a lake in Bragança Paulista, a small city in a rural area north of São Paulo. In the first, there are things to do—world-class museums, samba parties to attend, markets to shop… In the second, there is nothing to do except what we came to do, which is to spend time with family (and let our 2-year-old son get to know them).
I make the most of both locations. For São Paulo, I make a list of things I want to do there, so even though I have been there numerous times and don’t really like the city, I have plenty of touristy things to do to keep my traveler self satisfied. For Bragança Paulista, I do the opposite—I bask in having no schedule. I sleep. I eat. I chat. I read books like crazy. I watch movies. I eat fruit. I enjoy the animals and plants. I catch up on work and writing. I get bored. My mother-in-law insists on cooking for me every day; I don’t complain and shower her food with compliments.
They have 3 dogs, 3 cats, 1 parrot, several chickens, and this turtle.
I will be spending time in São Paulo later this month, but for now we are parked in Bragança Paulista, enjoying a simplicity that doesn’t exist in our lives at home in Sacramento. While it may not be the kind of travel I had once thought would make me happy, it is exactly the right thing at the right time.
Have you had a similar experience of being stuck in a travel rut of sorts, re-evaluating expectations, and accepting what is? Please share!
This is such an inspired finding. The most simple but so important—being with what is. It reminds of an old song I used to hear on the radio as a teenager..”if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with…” It sounded so cold to me in my idealistic mind, but now at the age of 37, I just feel comforted. You love traveling to distant places, and must settle with Brazil and all of IT’S familiar glory. I respect your choice to dig in and do it. Brazil holds freshness in each day.
I love the pics! The turtle is so cute, and the house you’re currently staying in looks splendid.
I miss you, and am struggling with similar findings. Thanks for this blog. I hope to read more.
Thanks for your beautiful comments, Tamara. Yes, being with what is is the simplest yet most important lesson, no matter the situation. xo
Hey Jenna,
I’ve definitely noticed this happening sometimes. When I was younger we would always take our summer holiday at my Grandma’s house. It was great as a kid and it was always nice to get to spend so much time with family. But I can’t imagine how my parents may have felt—always vacationing at “home”. I mean, obviously they loved being with family, but it’s usually at the sacrifice of other trips.
It’s a tough act to balance. And I’m not sure how I’d got about it when I have a family of my own someday. Really insightful post, though!
And happy travels—wherever they are!
Adam, Thanks for stopping by. You said it exactly– it is usually at the sacrifice of other trips. Luckily, my husband loves to travel, too, so after we spend a good chunk of time in Brazil, we plan somewhere else we’d like to go although it’s hard to squeeze everything in. I focus on the positive and am thankful for all the traveling I have already done. It’s good you’re taking advantage of the opportunity to travel now because one never knows when circumstances will change! Happy travels to you, too!
So nice to see the whole family cheering for Brazil. I miss that moment from past WCs. Maybe in 2014.
I guess you did the right thing – enjoy the most of what you can have in this kind of family vacation. And I know how it is to have a partner from a different country and we have to visit family instead of going to fancy places.
And by the way, you baby is sooo cute!
Looking forward to seeing some pictures of Sao Paulo. I would like to be writing more about Brazil but my pictures are there at home. I am sure I will have plenty of time and pictures in 20 days when I get back there.
Enjoy the vacations!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Yes, the cheering in Brazil was fun, just too bad it didn’t last long!
I will be in Sao Paulo soon and will be going to some places like Ipiranga and the new Museu do Afro-Brasil. can’t wait!
What a fun looking family to hang out with in Brazil! It is great that you are making the most of the simplicity, not worrying about packing in activities or jet setting off somewhere else. Lately in Florence, I have been leaving every other week for somewhere else. Reading this made me realize I should take things slower, spend more time where I am living. That is after all, the whole reason I came here.
Thanks, Suzy. Taking things slowly is a good thing when traveling, but I wish I could be in your shoes going to new places every weekend. But as I mentioned in the post, I have to accept it for what it is. That is the sacrifice one makes with a bicultural relationship, although I am lucky too that my husband loves to travel, so we squeeze in trips to places I want to go, too.
I can totally relate to this post. My husband and I are from different places and live in the US, so visits to either of our families (whether in Buenos Aires or in London) are pretty much like that. I too tend to get bored and restless, even when I visit home!
I think the title to this post is absolutely right, it truly is a different idea of travel. the great advantage is that you get to know a place really well, more like a local.
Ana,
That’s true, getting to know the place like a local is an advantage of this kind of travel. When I arrive here every year, I feel like I really know the place (for better or worse!).
At least you get to go to 2 amazing cities, but I guess any place you go all the time can get stale, especially when your priority is staying with family, not going out or sightseeing.
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