Have you seen those blogs that show a beautiful family, perfectly dressed in the latest finds from Madewell or J. Crew, frolicking in a field of lavender somewhere after a picnic in the sun-kissed light of early evening? Did they mention that perhaps the kids didn’t want to touch any of the picnic food, that the beautiful evening was interrupted with potty runs and tantrums, or that the most common comment was “How much longer? How much longer?”
I have to say that occasionally I see such a blog post include some honesty, but I want you to know that I have no intention of idealizing anything on this site. I want to promote family travel but also be honest about it so that parents who might be taking off for their first big trip with their kids will know it’s not all roses. After recently having some travel experiences that were both wonderful and challenging at the same time, I feel more than ever that traveling with kids is hard (but I believe it’s worth it).
Here’s a little breakdown of the lows of traveling with kids, my experience with three age ranges, and why I think it’s worth it. A big post of tips and resources for traveling with kids is here.
Why traveling with kids can be hard (unless you are the parent of an angel)
The Constant Whining
“Another church? No! I’m not going in there.”
“When can we go back to the hotel?”
“How long until we get there?”
“This is so boring.”
“This is taking for-e-ver!!”
If you’re a parent, you know how annoying the whining can be, especially when everyone else is just trying to have a little fun.
The Picky Eating
Just like adults, kids get cranky when they’re hungry, and they need basic food elements like protein and vitamins every day. Sadly my younger son is a picky eater, which I guess is normal for 3-year-olds, so no matter where we travel, we spend a lot of time trying to find restaurants where pasta and pizza are served. We even did that in Japan because we knew our son wouldn’t eat Japanese food. And on our recent trip to Minas Gerais, one of the best regions for food in Brazil? Needless to say, he barely tried those interesting dishes of beans, chicken, or squash.
The Wishing for Things from Home
The first 10 days or so of our recent month in Brazil, our son freaked out if he couldn’t have apple juice. At every restaurant or cafe we entered, he asked for apple juice, only to have to deal with the fact that they don’t serve apple juice in Brazil. That, and his favorite granola bars and graham crackers, were the things from home that he couldn’t stop thinking about. Kids experience culture shock, too, though I think it manifests more in those little things that are missing from their routine.
The Needing to Be Carried
In one of the most beautiful parks in Northern California, surrounded by giant sequoias? When you’re a kid, you might not give a damn where you are if it requires more than about 30 minutes of walking (make that about 10 minutes of walking for a toddler). Their little legs just don’t keep up with adult-sized walks, especially when combined with whining about being bored–we actually had to carry both kids at Calaveras Big Trees State Park earlier this summer.
Having to carry our kids around when we travel is a given, and when the kid weighs 35+ pounds, that’s no easy feat!
How are the ages different?
Babies
Honestly, I can barely remember what traveling with babies was like because my kids are 3 and 7 now. I remember that traveling with babies is actually not as hard as it may seem–they sleep a lot, relax when being nursed, and are not old enough to complain the way older kids do. Traveling with a baby made me more flexible in some little ways that make a difference for a parent.
Toddlers
Most parents would probably agree that this is the hardest time to travel with kids. My older son was actually a good traveler–when he was not even 2, we traveled with him to Bali, Japan, and Brazil to visit family. Those trips were definitely not without problems, but overall he was flexible and easy-going.
However, after my second child was born, we decided not to take such big trips for a while and instead focused on places closer to home. Having two children has made travel not just more expensive but also more complicated because it’s harder for my husband and me to trade off, the kids feed off each other’s energy, and they often don’t agree on what they want to do.
Kids
I used to think that when my kids got older, traveling with them would be so much easier. I’m not sure if that has turned out to be true. My older son now finds many things “boring” and it seems that the plans for the day need to center around keeping him interested and busy. Perhaps toddlers can be distracted more easily but older ones cannot be fooled.
He’s extremely happy traveling when there’s a sense of adventure like we’ve had in much of California lately, but there’s been a lot of whining while traveling, too. It made me realize that what I find exciting may not excite him…he has interests of his own and can’t be pressured into adopting my tastes. He also loves staying at hotels, especially places that are family-friendly like Princess Royale, because a carefully-chosen hotel adds convenience and comfort for families.
Is it worth it?
Yes, it is. The selfish reason is that I want to see as much of this planet as I can and would prefer to travel with them than not at all. The other reason is that travel is good for them–exposing them to nature and other cultures helps build their sense of responsibility and global awareness, among other things. Plus, as a family, we benefit so much from creating special memories and having time to bond. You can read more of my take on traveling with kids here.
And you? Every child and every family is different, so I’d love to hear your thoughts. What do you think is (or is not) hard about traveling with kids? And is it worth it?
If you’re curious how to make the family traveling experience easier, check back soon for a big post of tips for traveling with kids!
Hi Jenna, Yes, it can be difficult but then, everything in life has its ups and downs. However, I think we have found a solution to the third problem you are describing: Since Sofie stopped using a stroller, we have always travelled with a small foldable scooter which can be easily stowed in a backpack. The mere riding it can keep the kid entertained and it can be used pretty much everywhere except for muddy paths or cobbled streets (and even there there’s usually some smooth “lane” where you can use it). When the kid gets tired or if it’s an uphill, you can always push the kid which requires much less energy then carrying the child. The downside of it is that you have to walk a bit faster but it’s ok for me as I always walk fast. 🙂
Yes, I agree that everything has its ups and downs…I don’t want to sound negative at all, just wanted to admit that parts of traveling with kids are not easy. I love your idea of the foldable scooter. I wouldn’t have thought of that, but I think my older son would go for it!
You and I are sharing brave waves on this. We only have one and have decided to stay that way. I can’t imagine doubling our trouble when traveling. Our son is almost 8 and it is interesting thinking back to our different trips since he was 5 how he has changed throughout. He was actually very easy at 5 in Europe. He found joy in the simple things. Now, like on our visit to New York this summer, so much of the trip needed to be centered on him. What we wanted to do was boring to him. We went to New Mexico last fall and he enjoyed the many art museums. Now, he was quickly bored in New York. He did still want to sit and sketch what we observed, but that desire didn’t last as long.
I understand what you’re saying about your son’s interests changing. We’ve been going through the same thing.
We are hesitant to travel with our toddler after a no-sleep vacation when she was a baby. However my husband and I love to travel and really want to share the world with her for all the reasons you’ve described. One thing we have found that works – traveling with other families or family members. The more, the merrier! We recently traveled with grandparents and everyone had a great time. Even better, my husband and I were able to get away for a date night.
Traveling with family (or to visit family) is one of the tips I was planning to include in my upcoming post of tips and resources. Having other family members there is helpful, and visiting family makes the kids feel comfortable, almost like being at home.
Ha ha, great post, Jenna. So much of it resonates with me.
The whining can get pretty intense at times, but on the whole my kids are pretty good. I think we’ve just learned to adapt and maybe are more accepting of things we once weren’t. Basically, we’ve given in! We now know that carrying and playgrounds are par for the course, and I think once you accept these things it’s not so hard.
I do miss those times when you could lie on the sand, close your eyes and enjoy the sun on your face. Now I know that I’ll be jumped on within seconds, sand will be flying everywhere – if they’re not trying to bury me – and I’ll inevitably have one eye half open in case the big one, who is convinced she’s a great swimmer will try and make a break for it into the open water… she’s only 4! Still, it’s all good. Love it really 🙂
Your point about accepting that traveling with kids includes certain things is a good one, and I agree. I try to plan things that I know my kids won’t want to do when they won’t be around (i.e. when a family member can watch them, or when my husband can keep them for a bit while I quickly duck into a church I want to visit, for example). I also can relate to your missing those days when we could just go somewhere and completely relax. Of course, all the fun and love they bring into the picture makes it all worth it. 🙂
I have to say, I’m nervous about a trip to Ireland with a 7 month old. The flight itself is only 5.5 hours, but it leaves so late.
Also, what’s your opinion on the flying with kids under 2 situation: lap child or buy a seat and use the carseat?
7 months is such a wonderful age! I think it’ll all be fine. 🙂 I think having a late flight with a child is a good thing. I try to schedule as much of our flying time when the kids would be ready to sleep. And I found flying with my older son when he was a baby to be quite easy, especially when he was nursing. You can get one of those bassinets in the bulk head row (I never was able to get that but plenty of other parents do…I had to hold him or make a bed on the floor!).
About the seats: it’s my opinion that you should buy a seat (which is given at a discounted rate) when you no longer feel comfortable having a baby in your lap for long periods of time. When my younger one was about 1, he was so squirmy; we got a seat for him so that he could at least lie down. We’ve never used a carseat during a flight although I know some parents like doing so.
OMG…traveling with kids can certainly take he patience of Job. We have done a lot of traveling with our kids, including a lot of very long car rides (like 14 hour trips). We have spent several trips listening to 8 hours+ of blood curdling screaming. It was torture. However, now that they are older, my kids are pretty good travelers. We are taking them on their first plane ride in a few weeks, so I’m excited to see how that goes. Our 5 year old has been asking to fly for a long time, and this is a surprise vacation, so I can’t wait to see her little face 🙂 I can’t wait to show them the world, and I’m excited to see how that helps to shape their lives!
Yes, it definitely shapes their young lives in a positive way, and it’s exciting to think about exploring the world with them as they get older.
Thanks for your honesty in writing this post. I’ve mostly traveled solo or with a partner. But we are expecting a little one any day now and that would definitely be life changing. At least I know that we have at least a year when it’s easiest to travel with a baby. I’m pretty sure every experience is unique though. I’ll be sure to follow your adventures and will feature you guys on our blog soon. Thank you!
I certainly wouldn’t want to scare off any expecting parents with this post…it’s entirely possible and completely rewarding to travel with kids. But because I write about family travel a lot, I want people to know the truth, which is that (for us, anyway), traveling with our kids is not easy. I think having two has made it harder than when we had just one, and having two rowdy, strong-minded boys might have something to do with it, too. 🙂 Nevertheless, we are planning our next two trips with them right now!
Thanks for portraying this reality of family travel. It’s one of things I most fear when I have kids.
The food pickiness would really kill me in many places, ESPECIALLY Japan. How do you deal with long fights?
I wouldn’t want you to fear traveling with your kids…having kids is such a blessing and a wonderful part of life for those who choose to have kids. The food issue differs for every family–my first chid ate just about everything we gave him until he turned about 5; the second is just naturally picky, but I think if you have certain foods that are important to you and introduce them to your child when he/she is small, that will help. About flying, I find it to be a piece of cake. I wrote my top tips on G Adventures: http://www.gadventures.com/blog/10-tips-for-flying-with-kids/
Your blog post is honest and true but I also think ALL of these challenges are faced as parents whether you are home or on the road….. so why not be on the road?! 😉
We are finishing up a year of family travel. Looking back, there was so much more magic, and love and adventure packed into this year than any other years with our kids. It is so very worth doing!!
I agree (although for us, the challenges are more pronounced when we’re on the road than at home, but every family is different). I love that you’ve just been traveling with them for a long time. I would love to do that.
Very honest article! Not everything is sugar and rainbows when traveling with kids, specially for first-timer parents who simply do not care that their children is waking up the entire plane/bus/train with his screaming.
It’s very true that being a parent is the hardest work in the Earth!
It’s hard work but with so much joy, too 🙂
I love visiting new places and old favorites with my family, but coping with whining, picky eaters, quarreling, etc is part of the package when we travel with our children – now ages 10 and 7. The great thing about family travel is that after awhile, the bad memories become funny stories and the good memories get better.
Good point about the memories. I definitely believe that it’s better to travel than not, partly because we remember the exciting, happy times of our travels and rarely think about the lows.
We are lucky in that our daughter is an awesome traveler that loves museums and trying new things but even so, it can be challenging. There are days when she can walk for miles and others when she just runs out of steam. Times when she will try whatever is put in front of her, others when she need something familiar. Having only one child definitely makes it easier since I don’t need to balance too many different interests and energy levels but I’ve found the key is to do a lot of planning in advance, especially so we are never left tired, hungry and cranky without knowing where we are getting our next meal. I also try to build in downtime for all of us and rent apartments when we can so we don’t need to eat out 3 meals a day. Having at least one meal at our own pace in a comfortable environment helps a lot. It is definitely worth it! I see the connections in school, the open mindedness, the sensitivity to other cultures, and the interest in trying new things all come from a result of our travels.
I agree with and can relate to all your points, and I would emphasize the importance of renting a place so at least one meal can be eaten in. We usually have lunch out but breakfast and dinner at the vacation rental. Saves time, too!
Great post, Jenna — the candidness is much appreciated, especially as I embark on a life of traveling with children (my baby is 9 months old!). So far, it’s proven to be a huge undertaking to travel with my son: we live in Spain, and I’ve traveled with him (alone) to the US and Italy, and then as a family to Portugal. That said, on the trip to Italy — and not to make a sales pitch out of this — I went with Our Whole Village, a startup that I’ve joined as a partner, and, honestly I was amazed by how fulfilling travel with my little one was and could be. So, it’s like you said: there are a lot of downsides, but is it worth it? Absolutely. I truly believe that traveling with my child will enrich my journeys in ways that wouldn’t be possible otherwise.
Wow, you’ve done a lot of traveling with him already in 9 months! Yes, traveling with kids is harder but it also adds a dimension of exploration and bonding.
My daughter is an awesome traveler and rarely complains, probably because we’ve been flying long haul since she was 4 weeks old (having been born in Hong Kong and needing to come back to the US to see family, etc.). I will say though if there’s something she doesn’t want to do or a walk is way long for her (hello, National Mall) I am totally not beyond bribery. It works. A cheap doll for good behavior during a massive day of walking is worth it to me–she’s traveling because I want to, too. I think the biggest downside to traveling with kids is that they can get sick from germs on planes, time zone changes, etc. And, when that happens (though rare), I feel really guilty about it. But, yes, traveling with kids is super challenging at times… of course!
We used a lot of “bribery” on this recent trip to Brazil. I wish I could say that we just magically told our kids what we would be doing that day and that they were immediately excited and on board. It worked–we often said things like, “we’ll stop for ice cream after we visit this church” and that seemed to give them something to look forward to.
You speaketh the truth, sister!
🙂
We recently traveled with our 2.5 year old daughter to Italy. Though it seems daunting at this age, there are many advantages. First many entrance fee are either waived or much lower priced for them. Secondly many people love the smile of a young child and possibly to avoid their tantrum are very accomodative. Preboarding in a flight is certainly helpful to get space for all your cabin luggage.
Some decisions that helped us includes taking a sturdy jogging stroller that negotiated the cobblestone roads of Rome and even in the ruins of Pompeii (where we had to lift it up for lack of elevator many people gave us a helping hand) and for that reason doing group tour so as to stick to a time (or traveling in a larger group) and then our decision to go from country to country on a cruise ship (in our case Western Mediterranean cruise) so child got her entertainment while on ship and the fact that we did not have to pack and unpack between different sites. Carrying some food and drink in the stroller always takes care of unpredictable hunger pangs in a foreign country without having to run to a restaurant each time thus saving your sightseeing time. I’m hoping by our next travel she is fully toilet trained, but it wasn’t too much of an issue as we mainly stuck to city based tours.
I hope our love for travel, cultures and people of all races rubs early on to our child as well.
Thanks for your comment, Priya! I think you have a lot of good ideas, and I agree that the less moving around from one place to another with small children, the better. Your trip sounds fun! Happy travels to you and your family 🙂
Hello,
I am the mother of 2 children with 2 and 5 years old. And I have realised that I am a travel addict when even with kids we manage to travel. It is tough and it is a real challenge, but as you said we travel together because is that or no travel at all, and at the end it is really well worth it form all. They love it, there is always new things to see and do, Having 2 makes it more difficult, they now fight a lot! We are Portuguese an we love to travel to the USA has a family, very easy and child friendly and cheap!
Cruising is always a good option, no packing and unpacking, but needs a little bit of planning for the days out of the boat. In Europe there are some nice places to go, which can combine nature and a little bit of culture like Madeira, Gran Canaria, Sicily and Malta. The best family travel was to Alaska on a cruise combined with one week car rental from Vancouver to Calgary…a real must! And they loved the animal: bears, whales, birds…
Thanks for all the ideas. My two kids fight a lot, too, but they are generally very easy going together. Traveling with kids is truly a wonderful experience for everyone in the family. 🙂
We love traveling with our children. I definitely agree that it is more difficult but also more rewarding. It is so awesome to experience other cultures, food and new countries with them. We actually have 4 children ages 2, 9, 12, and 15. I know, we are crazy. We have traveled to Europe these past two summers, with our most recent trip being a month long. This last trip we spent two weeks in Europe and then took a cruise home for two weeks across the Atlantic. We always tell the kids the “Europe part” is for us (the parents) and the cruise home is for them. They realize that there is more fun to come later, so they are more patient with the boring stuff. I have found they enjoy Europe anyway, especially the simple things. They love riding the subway, chasing pigeons, exploring cemeteries, watching street performers, looking at funny art, people watching, shopping the souvenir stands, etc. I think this is what makes it fun for us as adults – they find excitement in the little things and these are the moments we remember when we get home. Every trip we take, we buy a new “umbrella-type” stroller for our two-year-old because by the time we are done with the trip, we have worn out the stroller. We try to keep him in the stroller as much as possible which allows us to visit museums, churches, historical sites, etc without worrying about him running around. Then when we get to a place where it is safe, we let him out to run and get some energy out. I have found if we are moving in the stroller, he is occupied. We also took a suitcase full of snacks for the children not only to cut down on cost, but to have something that we know they like and prevent low blood sugar. We include some of the snacks in their carry on for the plane ride over. Before our youngest even turned two, we would purchase a seat on the airline for him. We always bring his car seat and strap it into the airplane seat. He has learned that once he is buckled in his car seat, he is going to stay put for a while. We tried traveling once without it and it was a terrible experience. We finally asked the airline if they had an open seat on the flight back. We were luck they did, so we brought his car seat on and we had a much more pleasant trip. I also try to study the history of each place we are going to visit so I can tell the kids interesting facts and information about it. Last, we have found that you also have to plan some “down time”. A day to sleep in or afternoon at the park. This makes for much happier kids when they are rested and are able to get their energy out.
There are so many good tips in your comment! And I LOVE the idea of taking a cruise across the Atlantic to get back. How did you do that? Is there a particular cruise company that does such trips? I guess in our case we’d have to cruise back to NYC or somewhere and then fly home to California. Thank you for stopping by…I really enjoyed your comment and agree that traveling with kids is so rewarding!
What an unusually honest post, Jenna. My situation is a little different because my kids are far apart in age (5 and 15) so while travelling with the teen has its own challenges, in all travels we only had to “deal” with one little child at a time. Plus, (and I realize just how blessed I have been) even at 2 yr old, both my kids were able to get through 24 hour car journeys from Boston to Florida without much complaining and pretty much occupied themselves with books and games. And while my husband and I take a couple of days each year for a weekend trip on our own, now that my son is getting closer to college age, I absolutely savor our family travel time. But- like Tamara said, the key to enjoyable family travel is planning for different interests and tastes (and factoring in down time).
You writing is an inspiration to me:)
Really glad you enjoyed it. And wow, those long car journeys! We are just starting to do really long ones with our kids, and so far, so good!
Great post, Jenna! Nice to read something so honest about this wonderful but taxing endeavor.
Thank you! I like your choice of words! It is both wonderful and taxing, and I love it 🙂
Great article! We’ve been on the road for 4 months with our two kids, (5 years old and 20 months old), and I completely sympathize with the points and tone of your article. It is definitely challenging, but I couldn’t agree more that it’s also building character and generating wonderful memories in the process!